If I Was A Terrorist

The recent bombings in London have got me thinking: why do terrorists always wait for a while before claiming responsibility?

One possibility is that the groups claiming responsibility may not actually have done it. Consider this: there are several independent terrorist organizations. One of them bombs London, but doesn't want to be hunted down so they don't claim responsibility. Al Qaeda (actually their European division of Abu Hafs al Masri Brigade) is already in trouble with the free world, so they claim responsibility instead. Maybe there's some understood "grace period" among terrorist groups after which anyone can claim it. Really, how much more trouble could Al Qaeda get in? It makes sense they would take a fall, allowing a different terrorist group to remain unknown.

Or, it could just be incompetence. Maybe they're afraid of failure enough that they have to wait until the act of terrorism is complete before claiming responsibility. And if they're going to wait that long, they may as well put it off for a while longer, because there is a psychological edge to not knowing who your enemies are. Remember: the objective of terrorism is not killing people; it's causing terror. Purely psychological. Long term goals - e.g., controlling the foreign policy of another country - require a state of continuous terror for a large portion of the population, which is difficult to achieve. Terrorism attacks have to maximize the effect on the psyche, not maximize the damage done.

Still, I don't think waiting so long to claim responsibility is a good idea. There's a better way to achieve the objective of terror.

Let's assume I run a terrorist organization, and I wanted to cause terror in a particular country. I would not have a surprise bomb go off, and then let everyone wonder who was responsible for a few days before I announced "um, yeah, that was me... wait, let me check... ok, yup, it was me."

I would announce it ahead of time.

Not the specifics, of course. First, specifics would just help the police catch me. Secondly, the terror is increased if people are aware of impending danger but don't know where it is. For example, it would be bad to say that I will bomb a New York subway next week - too specific. I would say instead that I will set off a bomb in New York one week from that announcement. Let the populace of New York wonder where the bomb will be.

Of course, there are additional dangers when announcing terrorist attacks ahead of time. The entire city will be alert for danger on that day. However, it is just not feasable to be able to defend against such a general announcement. What are they going to do - shut down New York for a day? Even with all civil servants, including militias and other civilians, it would still not be possible to secure such a large target. This is due to a fundamental principle of security: it is much harder to defend than to attack. For good discussions of this principle, I refer you to Bruce Schneier of Counterpane Internet Security. He's liberal in his political views, but he understands security better than most people.

However, even though it is not possible (well, ok, not feasable) to secure a large city, there is still a greater chance of failure compared to a normal surprise terrorist operation (since they know it's coming). And that is something I could not allow. I would want my organization to become well-known in the psyche of the victim country; and the best way to do that is simple: keep my word. If I say a bomb will go off in a given city on such-and-such a date, it better happen. Or else next time people won't be terrorized. Even one failure would cause huge damage to the terror potential; it would be better to do it the way the current terrorists do rather than to fail even one time trying it this way. So, I would need to take extra precautions against failure.

The general idea would be to announce one bomb going off, and then dispatch about a half-dozen independent teams into the city on that day. "Independent" meaning that they have no contact with each other, or even have any idea how many other teams are in the city. Each team would be given a specific target and a unique time for detonation. However, I would only want one bomb to go off in that city. That way, no-one can ever be sure how many teams I had in there. So, if one team sets off their bomb, none of the other teams will. This requires some form of communication, which is not allowed since each team must be completely independent. So, they would also be given a small, portable TV. Any bomb going off in a large city will hit local news within two hours (more like ten minutes, but say a couple hours to be on the safe side). The procedure is simple: proceed to your target and watch TV. If you see a bomb on the news, return to base; otherwise, if your target time arrives and there is no bomb on the news, assume all previous teams have been captured and detonate yours. Simple.

Well, that's how I would organize attacks if I was a terrorist.

One final note: remember, the objective is to strike terror. Currently, it seems the terrorists only attack the day-to-day businessmen. Planes into office buildings; bombs on subway trains. If all you ever attack is subways, then that makes the defense a lot easier. I would branch out to a lot of other targets, while also keeping the classic subway/office building/restaraunt repertoire. I'm talking schools, supermarkets, day cares, nursing homes, churches, rock concerts and playgrounds. If you're going to play dirty, play dirty.

Vocal Master's Class Notes

The last couple days I went to a vocal master's class at Bay View. I thought it would be way over my head, but I actually learned a lot that is applicable to church specials. So, here's my notes, in case anyone else finds these useful.

Day one (Monday):

• Slide from one note to another or not depending on the composition and composer (e.g., never slide when doing Mozart).
• If swallowing, or clearing your throat, or taking a breath, don't step out of character. Maintain your facial features.
• Take your time. Especially during cadenzas.
• Never take a breath without actively thinking about what you're feeling and what emotions you want to convey.
• Have some parts with rhythm and some without.
• Some songs are reserved; some are emotional, with hand gestures, etc. Let the words determine the feeling of a song.
• Acting out the words of a song will give you the correct timing for parts with less rigid rhythm.
• Identify the highest notes in the melody and change the timing and tone to make it sound difficult. Even if you can hit the note easily, make it sound like it's hard.
• Analyze the melody to determine the most intense parts and important phrases.
• Never sing something exactly the same way twice. Give it more emotion every time you repeat the same words and tune.
• To make it sound hard, avoid taking "half-breaths"; re-do your breathing or hold notes out so that you must (or at least sound like you must) take full breaths.
• Remember the meaning! Sudden changes in aspect are good (even required) if the words imply it.
• Good method for high notes: tremulo piano underneath, without tempo.
• Don't make your breathing the audience's problem; they shouldn't have to care when you breathe.

Day two (Tuesday):

• Delay timing when hitting the highest note to make it sound harder.
• You can be simple in your singing; just be theatrically simple (so people say "Wow, I've never heard anything so simple") instead of just drab.
• Keep your runs clear; take more time if necessary
• People remember endings; if piano or voice only carry the ending (not both), make it represent the piece and make it memorable.
• Don't almost run out of breath.
• You can slow down when crossing register adjustments.
• Pay careful attention to the exact meaning of every word in your song.
• In many songs, downbeats are the most important; everything after a downbeat is just leading to the next downbeat.
• With a group hymn, you cannot take liberties; you have to keep the whole congregation together. With solos, you only have two egos (soloist and accompanist).
• With vowel songs, lengthen your vowels and shorten your consonants. Vowel sounds are what singing is.
• If the music shouldn't be harsh, don't make it sound harsh; legato should be able to hold a match in front of your mouth without blowing it out.
• Sing with just vowel sounds (in rhythm, slower if necessary) to develop a good legato sound.
• Focus on the vowels; don't land on the consonants. Don't shock your mind.
• (The previous notes are for a vowel-based language; note that English is a consonant language).
• Give your words shape; they're not just syllables.
• During longer rests, do something. Resting just because the music says to rest comes across as artificial; take a long, slow breath instead.
• For every style of music, you have to add yourself to what's on the page. Some composers tell you nothing regarding how to play and sing; others tell you everything.
• Imagine emotions while you're singing. Each time you sing the same phrase, try it with different emotions. Don't start with the strongest emotion first.
• Emphasize important recurring words (e.g., "Him").
• On each note, know where the next note will be; see it in your head.
• Give (or let) your voice out; don't force it out.
• On cadenzas, let the syllable emphasis drive the tempo. i.e., longer notes for accented syllables.
• Take enough time to make your words and notes perfectly clear (slender vowels).
• If you have trouble with pushing (e.g., at end of the song and you're feeling fatigued), remind yourself at every breath to release that tension mentally.
• There's a difference from singing to Someone and singing about Someone.
• The accompanist must give the soloist confidence.
• Whoever has the smallest notes (accompanist or soloist) leads.

Fun at Wal-Mart

Well, the other day I stopped by the LBC teen car wash at Wal-Mart. After receiving my complimentary car wash, I was chatting a bit with Abigail when Pastor Biggs grabbed me and told me to hold a sign and shout at people. In a nice way.

I figured I didn't have much to lose, and it would be good practice for street preaching; and I was just headed into work anyway which could be done later. So, I decided to stay and yell at people. In a nice way. I ended up with a nice sunburn but had a great time!

Why? Because I got to yell at people. In a nice way. It was a lot of fun making up things to yell, because "free car wash" got rather repetitive. By the end of the day I had stolen quite a few ideas from standard TV commercials, and it seemed the more annoying I tried to be, the more people liked it... I mostly used various conflagurations of the following (spoken in an overbearing infomercial/car salesman style of voice):

• Don't forget to get your free car wash as you exit Wal-Mart parking lot! (This is a good generic one)
• (Like a cheap infomercial) How much would you expect to pay for this special offer? Seven dollars? Five dollars? Two dollars! No! It's absolutely free!
• When I say "free", I mean one lump payment of nothing, or twelve easy installments of nothing!
• (spoken to people in a van) Minivans are twice the price. Oh, wait! That's still free!
• This is a limited time offer! Today only! If you come back tomorrow it will be too late!
• Don't be the last one in the parking lot to get your car washed for free!
• Nothing in life is free... except this car wash!
• You can't find a deal this good on eBay!
• Do you ever think to yourself "Boy, I sure need to wash my car, but I just don't seem to have the time." Well, let these crazy people do it for you for free!
• I got my car washed for free today! Have you?
• Why, if it was any cheaper, we'd be paying you!
• There's no such thing as a free lunch, but there is a free car wash!
• Remember: I'm not just a guy with a sign; I'm also a client! (This was supposed to be a takeoff of those hair loss remedy commercials, but I'm not sure if anyone got it)
• (after someone drove by from the car wash) Another satisfied customer!

And, my personal favorite:

• (falsetto) "Honey, you washed the car today!" (deep voice) "No, actually; I went to Wal-Mart and they had a free car wash!" (falsetto) "A free car wash! I'm so proud of you!" (announcer voice) Get your free car wash today!